Question: Are you having problems letting go of your husband’s possessions?

Answer: It is not time yet. At first, I wanted to hold on to all of my husband’s things: his car, clothes, and tools. But as I processed my grief with a counselor, I was ready to let go a few months later. I engaged a counselor because I did not have a trusted friend to speak to about grief. My pastor retired, too. Talking about your grief can assist you in processing your sorrow. It will help move you forward.

Question: Are you new to handling money? 

Answer: There is a 50/30/20 rule. 50% is for necessities, 30% is for non-necessities, and 20% is for savings. This rule may not apply because so many people live beyond their means. But it will give you a guideline. Google how to set up a budget. Write everything you spend down on paper. Go to your bank for help. They don’t usually charge for consultations.

Question: Do you wonder when to take off your wedding rings?

Answer: Take them off when you feel comfortable doing it. Don’t be pressured by other people. Some women never take them off, and others take them off around the 4th  or 5th year. I did not wear my wedding rings because my knuckles were too swollen. After our husbands die, widows feel pressure from multiple sources. Try to find a way to calm yourself. Walking in nature, meditating, or singing will help you make the small and significant decisions you face.