As widows, we have so many reactions to grief and loss that sometimes we think we are going crazy. I felt that way when I heard my husband’s voice after his passing. I believed I was losing it. But I was not. I needed someone grounded and versed in the path of grief. I decided to go to a counselor. My pastor retired, and my family was grieving. I also attended grief groups in my local area. I valued our connection due to having similar and identical losses. I no longer felt alone. The following are common reactions to losing a spouse or significant other. Some are unhealthy. Most are not.
Angry at God and unable to find consolation in your faith.
Angry at the medical personnel for not doing enough or not having the technical ability to save your loved one
Angry at yourself for not correctly interpreting the warning signs, statement, etc.
Angry at the deceased for not taking better care of themselves, leaving you alone, not making proper financial or legal preparations, and dying.
Unable to sleep without medication, or you may be sleeping all the time.
Having a change in eating habits with significant weight gain or loss.
More susceptible to colds, flu, and other physical ailments.
Unable to motivate yourself to do the things you need to do.
Unable to concentrate and remember things.
Angry that people can still laugh, that the world goes on.
Experiencing unpredictable, uncontrollable bouts of crying.
Fearful of being alone or with people; afraid to leave the house; afraid to stay in the house; afraid to sleep in the bed.
Wanting to punish something or someone for your pain.
Angry that no one seems to understand what has happened to you, angry that people expect you to get on with your life, angry that you are not given the time you need to grieve.
Feeling frustrated that friends don’t call or invite you out or seem to be pushing you into socializing before you’re ready.
Feeling guilty about relationship issues, which would not usually be a problem.
Experiencing panic attacks
Wanting to sell the house and move to a new residence or turn the home into a shrine.
Feeling lonely and being alone is more than you can tolerate.