The first year, I was in shock. I felt a heaviness in my body and a black cloud over my head. But, I pushed on because shock prevented me from feeling the sadness and heartache of losing my husband, Graham. I was still eating healthy and walking daily as I had for years. I continued to work and keep up the house while attempting to assume the yard maintenance responsibility. I was oblivious to the suffering headed my way. I did everything in my power to avoid feeling anything. And shock assisted me in my denial.
I did not realize that eating healthy and exercising daily by walking prevented me from becoming ill. I learned after the fact. I knew several widows personally. And some of them continued to get sick over and over again. It is well known that widows have a higher risk of illness due to the sudden stress in their lives. Thankfully, I avoided getting sick because I ate healthy and walked daily. I walk for a half hour outside each day in my neighborhood. During the winter months, I use a treadmill if the weather is too snowy or freezing.
My healthy diet assisted me in remaining free from illness. Many days, I chose fruit instead of sweet treats. I include vegetables in all my meals. I eat mushrooms and onions in my eggs for breakfast and spinach or other vegetables at lunch and dinner. And finally, I wear a mask when going grocery shopping. It has been almost five years now, and I have remained healthy. I know that it would be tough to be grieving and ill at the same time.
The second thing I learned is that using affirmations lifted my mood. Of course, during the intense grief stage, nothing seemed to help. At that time, I needed to grieve. I expressed my emotions on paper by journaling and also voicing them to a counselor. However, I could lift my spirits after I processed my intense sorrow. If I focus on my loneliness and sadness, I give energy to those feelings, helping them grow. I have many feelings. They are not all unhappy, sad, or melancholy. It seems that melancholy moods occur when I am alone. But I am confident that I can take control of my focus. I use affirmations to lift my mood. Some affirmations are as follows:
“I am patient with myself as I navigate the grieving process.”
” My loved one’s memory lives on in my heart and comforts me.”
“I am capable of healing and finding peace after loss.”
“I take a step toward healing my grief each day.”
“My grief is normal.”
“My memories are a comfort to me.”
“I will take good care of myself as I adjust to changes in my life..”
“I have the courage to face today.”
“I am compassionate with myself.”
“I deserve to have help with anything and everything.”
“I will tell myself about all my good qualities.”
“I am resilient in the face of change.”
“I am adjusting to a new reality.”
“I accept all my feelings.”
“After I process the pain and sorrow, I will feel better.”